Our lives are dominated now by the art installation. We load it into the Crocker in a couple weeks and continue to learn how much work there is yet to do. While tonight I’m laser-cutting some parts for one part, a team is sanding and staining larger parts for another. Tonight they just learned the water-based stain being used raises the grain too much on the pieces, necessitating a whole lot of unexpected extra sanding. A whole lot. Dozens of hours worth.
We have work. Come and earn a little over minimum wage, sanding and listening to music and sanding in good company while sanding.
I’m only writing here cuz I won’t on the F-book but I feel like typing it out. While this project is somewhat funded by the museum, the up front costs, and ALL other costs in our life, are covered by me. My choice was to either have faith in our future plans and intentions and spend what’s left of my retirement now to allow them to happen, or just say no, keep my money, and walk away. I couldn’t do that, of course. Not only because I love her, but she and her family depend on me to enable this stage of their lives. I can’t throw them into poverty, government assistance, and probable despair just to keep my money. My choice was to instead live in faith and hard work and see how things work out. She’s validated my faith many times. Never failed. So here we go.
Meanwhile more and more friends and acquaintances are paying their rent with my money in exchange for help in getting this thing built. It’s a peculiar feeling. I’m not worried about being old and broke. I just don’t care about that. If I have no dependents, what’s to worry about? I’m only worried about actually running out of money before we’re ready for me to. Against that, I’m sort of willing to go look for work. But I can’t yet, really. This project is all-consuming, and I am doing a lot of important work that otherwise won’t get done, just as she and her team are.
I was cooperative with a recruiter a few days ago, which is more than I can say for previous calls. But there’s been no word since, and I just don’t know. I’d rather write and build a company than work for someone, but work for someone I will if it’s the only way to bring in some income. And until our new venture turns the corner after this museum piece and starts selling actual stuff we make, that will be the only way.
I don’t know, I’m just sharing a piece of life because I don’t blog anymore and almost no one reads this. I feel just alone enough in all this to scratch it out onto a piece of paper and toss it into the wind.